So here's the thing- I am sick and tired of getting 'glutened' at restaurants. Period. End of story. The other day, I went to a restaurant of which I will not name because my goal here is not to embarrass the heck out of the restaurant and their staff, because the truth is, this happens to me just about 85% of the time I eat out. 

Back to the story, I go to this small plating restaurant 'X', and say

can you make these following dishes gluten free? 

They say absolutely! No problem. 

The 1st dish arrives battered in flour and I say

So to double check, this is gluten free? 

needless to say, they scramble and grab the dish back. Same thing happened with the 2nd dish, but this time it had bread crumbs sprinkled on the top. I sit there, look at the dish, sigh, and call the waitress back and say

hey! these are breadcrumbs or am I mistaken?

It's all about communication and listening if you ask me. Listen up restaurants and staff of restaurants! I, and all the other food allergic people out there, come to you, to enjoy a nice time (typically, we are secretly shitting in our pants, scared that you might contaminate our food, but we come to you because we want to be social, we want to enjoy life like 'the others' and we want to enjoy an 'experience' with our company, friends, partners, family etc.) 

Listen up restaurants and staff of restaurants! I, and all the other food allergic people out there, come to you, to enjoy a nice time (typically, we are secretly shitting in our pants, scared that you might contaminate our food, but we come to you because we want to be social, we want to enjoy life like ‘the others’ and we want to enjoy an ‘experience’ with our company, friends, partners, family etc. 

Point being, that night I woke up in the middle of the night with a migraine so bad I wanted to pound my head in with a hammer. In this situation, no pain killer helps. My body has been attacked by 'poison' and it literally panics! If you've been attacked by migraines before, (and gluten-migraines tend to be of a specific type) you know the feeling and it sure aint pretty. I wont bore you with the gory details, but lets just say it took me a good 48h to recover.

2 days later I was walking down the canal with my girlfriend on a sunny day and she pointed out a sign on the sidewalk written 'we serve gluten free pastries too'. I don't eat desserts really these days, but curiosity struck me so we walked in. Tantalizing bespoke doughnuts were lined up so elegantly along the glass vitrine that I spaced out and started daydreaming about which doughnut I would have (if I could..), the lemon glaze with pistachio and rose petals sure looked like it would hit the spot for me.  While I'm standing there in doughnut clouds in my mind, my girlfriend asked the barista what is 'gluten free' here. He points to a platter with gluten free banana bread, gluten free brownies, and a very (albeit lonely) glutenous croissants. That's when I came back to planet earth, looked closer at the platter and noticed billions of croissant crumbs all over the precious 'gluten free' products. I turned my head to the drink fridge- look on the bright side Adina, they have Kombucha! I bought a Kombucha instead of any of the heavily contaminated gluten free products, my girlfriend- 2 doughnuts, and we went on our way walking in the sun. The Kombucha was an embarrassment to the name and tasted so bad I dumped it after a few sips. My girlfriend liked her doughnuts. End of Story.

Please- gastronomy universe, please please please take us seriously! We are not dieting, we are not doing this for fun, we get truly very sick, so please, for the love of all things wheat- keep it away from me and my fellow allergic folk.

 

 

 

 

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